ok fuck fuck let me see if I can even remember everything in this dream first I had this awesome idea for a science experiment I took a couple hundred magnetic balls and put them in a petri dish the kind you get here http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/bbe8/ and put the petri dish over a searchlight that was pointing straight up into the sky so you could see a shadow of whatever shape the balls took my balls make shadow too and my plan was that with enough people watching the shadow the magnetic balls would soon become sentient Wow these magnetic balls are cool because all something needs to gain self awareness is for people to think it's self aware or something but I only had the search light set up for a couple hours before the government came in and unplugged it fucking government they can even invade our dreams those mofos and they were like "You can't have that search light on without a permit, and you can't do science without being associated with a university" assholes! huh That's where they get you and I was like "wtf, I need to be with a university? That's bullshit!" so I started trying to fill out the paperwork to get the spotlight permit and the more I tried to go through legal means, the more paperwork I discovered and the more money it cost and I thought "oh shit, this is why scientists need grants and stuff :I" but I was angry that I was so close to creating a sentient being but I couldn't because of petty legal bullshit that's actually a kick ass dream then there was a thing where I was helping my old housemate move out and I accidentally deleted my save file in smt Strange Journey then I was helping out with my little brothers stage production of some biblical story it was opening night and all the kids were worthless, they didn't know their lines and they didn't even know what their costumes looked like and there was a scene where three servants were supposed to run out and kneel before the king and the actors were in the fucking audience just staring at the stage and after ten minutes of waiting, none of the actors did anything I put on a trashbag cape and ran out to the stage and kneeled and the kids were like "ohhhh, that's what we're supposed to do" so they ran up on stage and all of the sudden, as soon as they got into character everyone turned into adults they were actual servants, actual warriors, and the king had an actual sword to the hero's throat and I was still in my plastic cape still max and I was like "oh fuck, I'm stuck, what have I gotten myself into" and then all hell broke loose the warriors started sword fighting and cutting off limbs the audience freaked out and ran out the doors I tried scuttling back to the wings, still on my face, when one of the warriors handed me a sword and said "everything is going according to plan, sampson! just stay hidden!" and I was like "oh fuck, this is the story of sampson" and in this dream, sampson sacrifices himself by stabbing the king in the chest or something none of that hair and pillar bullshit so the king was right behind me and was like "my most trusted servant, defend me in battle!" and the rebel leader was hiding in the audience, bounding over chairs and ready to stab the king in the face so I stood up and accidentally drove the sword through the king's stomach and I was like "wait fuck, I didn't mean to do that" the king was staring at me, "how could you betray me?" and he threw some powder in my face suddenly my legs started turning into stone and I was like "oh right, at the end of this story sampson turns into a statue" and all the rebels and the servants were saluting me, saying "we never could have done this without you" and that actually felt pretty good even though it was just a play and I accidentally stabbed the guy so I thanked them and struck a cool pose so when the stone crept up my torso and encased my arms I looked like a total bad ass forever then I woke up